I’ve been pondering the future of the America Jane website and blog for a few months now. Prior to General Conference, our Bishop advised us to prayerfully make a list of things we needed to receive revelation about. What to do with this blog was one of many things on my list.
My original intention for the America Jane website was much different from what the website actually is today. The site I launched back in March was intended to be the framework upon which I’d build. The site was going to be, so far as I can tell, unique from anything else already available on the web.
It was this uniqueness which made me feel it would be worth all the time and effort that would be required. After all, there are already many great resources on the web for LDS programs (such as the vast Sugardoodle) and scouting (such as the fabulous Boy Scout Trail). I had no desire to duplicate what was already out there.
I launched the website February 20, 2010. On March 27th I discovered my husband was having yet another affair and my marriage, I decided, was over. In the intervening six months, much has changed in my life. I’m a single mother of three wonderful boys. My commitment to raising them up unto the Lord has not wavered. If anything, it has increased. Of necessity, I have learned to be extremely careful with my time.
Priority one. Time for God. Spiritual health. I read my scriptures first thing in the morning to remind myself that He is first in my life.
Priority two. Provide for the temporal needs of my children. I have felt the sustaining hand of the Lord in this as I take on the role intended for the priesthood leader of the home. In lieu of a husband, I have felt so blessed to discover I am not alone, because the Lord is truly my partner.
Priority three. Be a mother to my children. I have been blessed with a job that allows me to drop my children off at school in the morning and pick them up when they get out in the afternoon. I have had several experiences that confirm to me that this “luxury” is in fact a necessity and is just as important to the Lord as it is to me. Those children need a mother in the home now as much as they ever have. My afternoons and evenings are dedicated to them. Rare is the day when I have even so much as 30 minutes, between when school lets out and when they’re asleep in their beds, when at least one of my children doesn’t require something from me. I’m happy to give it to them. I’m truly grateful for the opportunity.
Priority four. Mental, emotional and physical personal health. I’ve learned by hard experience the importance of taking care of myself and not running myself into the ground. My Bishop once said, “You’re not good at not running faster than you have strength.” I could only laugh because he’s so right. But I am learning. I am determined to learn. I loved President Uchtdorf’s talk about slowing down. It truly is a divine principle we find so foreign in our harried, modern lives. Too often, we are not living out our days with the peace and calm the Lord would have us feel.
All of this is to say that when my children are finally in bed, I’m not far behind them. When I’m tired, I sleep. An obvious course of action I neglected for years and years. I consider it an investment in myself and a gift to my children.
I am not a happy mom when I’m tired.
On my “off” weekends, when the children are with their dad, I tend to regroup. I don’t clean. I don’t run errands. I give my mind and body rest. I pamper myself on occasion with little things. I spend time with friends and family. I prepare mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually for the 12 days to come, days when my moments of rest are short and few.
All of this is to say, the America Jane website and blog rarely make it to the “doing” part of my “to do” list. My original vision for the website, while valuable, would be extremely time consuming to pull off. There’s no way I have time for it without sacrificing one of my top four priorities. That’s the reality. I’ve known this for some time.
Yet, I didn’t want to let it go either.
I’ve invested hundreds of hours in the building and launching of the website and in the (albeit sporadic) maintaining of the blog. It felt like a lot to give up on.
I also like having a place for things I think are of value. The family home evening I shared on pornography has, in a very short time, become one of my most visited posts. That alone is worth keeping the blog alive.
I’m fond of the little tips and helps for parents too and would like to do more. So many sites focus on what leaders can do to help youth with their programs. As a parent who remembers what it feels like to be baffled by the scouting program, I think there needs to be more out there for us.
So, what to do?
I realized this morning that what I needed to let go of was the original idea for the website. I needed to reconsider a new future for America Jane just as I’ve had to do for myself.
I’m going to loosen up the parameters of the blog so I can post, from time to time, those things I think have timeless value. It may or may not have anything to do with scouting, the LDS youth programs or family home evening. If I feel in the mood and have the time for quick, light posts that’s fine. I think in general, though, my posts will be about things that are worth the time it takes to put a post together. I’m giving myself permission to let sporadic posting be the permanent nature of this blog. I’m letting go of the hope that it will ever be as frequent as I’d once hoped. I can live with that. The blog is staying for sure.
As for the website, there are a couple of things I need to check into before I make my final decision. I don’t renew the domain and site builder until spring. I’ll make my decision then.
Promotion, while key to a successful blog, is time consuming. Very, very time consuming. I have not had time for it for months and don’t plan on going back to it any time soon. That’s just the way that’s going to be.
For those of you who follow, read, comment and email, I thank you so much for your support.
Lastly, a tidbit about the name behind this blog, for clarification.
America Jane is the name of one of my ancestors who lived in the American South in the 1800′s. I discovered her when I first got into family history work over a decade ago. I fell in love with her name. America Jane. What a great name!
So, since I try to keep personal information off this blog since it’s more public than my family blog, this blog is named after her.
